Michael Welsh, here. Do you want to know what I hate about Men? I will go ahead and specify “most men” here, just in case there are exceptions to the rule other than myself even though no person in particular comes to mind at the moment.
What I hate about (most) Men…
They simply do not know how to dish out a compliment.
Guys, if your significant other does something, anything at all, noticeably different, whether it be their clothing, their hair, preparing a meal or just about anything- you compliment them. What is so hard about that?.
I hear these tales all too often and it makes me terribly sad for mankind (and even more so for women everywhere).
Woman gets an amazing new hairstyle and/or color, arrives home to her partner, a man who believes his “opinion” or insipid attempt at humor is valid, comes up with something like,
“You look like a dyke.”
My heart drops and my skin crawls just having to write those words. These men make me so sick to my stomach.
Who do they think are?
I can almost 100% guarantee that these hubbies are not NYC fashionistas in the know of hot trends coming off the red carpet. Do you know what I mean?
Instead, these supposedly loving partners blubber something like,
“I like yer hair better long.”
Do you know what that a-hole is saying when he says this?
“quit spending money cutting yer hair”
which actually translates to:
“If you want to feel good and look pretty, it should just come natural, (like it does to
These men are oblivious, not only to their own ignorance but also to the damage they are causing in their own relationships, as well as the world at large. Shut up already, Fellas.
Beauty is not a vain waste of money, it is a valuable survival tool
and if you sit back and marinate on that concept (for a minute) and the role beauty has played and continues to play in our evolution as human beings, hopefully you might come to realize that you have been wrong all along in every ridiculous, insulting remark you have made to the person that you are supposed to cherish and respect.
There is hope, I believe. For I was once a young man too timid to compliment a girl to her face. THEN SHE WOULD KNOW I LIKED HER!?!?!? THE HORROR!!!?!?
I’m sure we’re all familiar with this schoolyard type of thinking.
I, for one, was so incredibly shy as a youth that I could barely speak to a girl and especially not one that I thought was cute.
I seriously had to teach myself to get over it. As a young adult, I considered myself to be a student of Frank Sinatra, and there it was, right there in black and white in his biography. I forget the question but his reply was “compliment her”. Tell her she looks pretty.
It was October 16, 1999. I know this because it was my brother’s wedding. I was the Best Man and I had a date to the reception. Nothing romantic or serious, but it was a milestone (to say the least) that I had called a girl, asked her to accompany me to a thing and she said Yes.
Gorgeous day, mid-October, downtown Las Vegas, I was walking East down Bridger from the
parking garage to the
First Methodist Church
on 3rd Street. I had my compliment locked and loaded. I turned to my date, looked her straight in her eyes and said
“You look very pretty.”
She let out a tiny little gasp and replied
“ahhh.. you look very handsome yourself.”
And that was that. I did not hurt. My heart did not stop. No one laughed. I could see she was visibly happier through the entire event.
So, Fellas, Guys, Hombres, please.
Could you please, just say it!
Try it with me now.
Say it out loud.
Once you have this down, your next move is to learn how to say it spontaneously to your significant other. Sure, you can start with the obligatory “new haircut” or “getting ready to leave the house together” compliments to get your game up, but soon you will want to use it when She(or He) is least likely expecting it,.,i.e,. stepping out of the shower, waking up in the morning, or for no reason at all in the midst of conversation over lunch.
Most importantly, Fellas, remember that
YOU ARE NOT LYING
She is beautiful morning, noon and night or you wouldn't be together. Right? I certainly hope at least, that the person you are spending your life with truly lights up your world. And guess what? She/He will shine that much brighter and continue to fill your world with love when you learn to silence the “Bro who thinks his opinions are totally valid observations” and simply reply with an honest “You look pretty”, or fabulous, gorgeous, ti amo, whatever works in your case.
On behalf of under-appreciated women around the world, I am Michael Welsh.
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